Books I've read: Breathe

 

This was a really odd book and one I've continued to think about since I finished it on Sunday.

It starts off in a pretty straightforward manner, with a woman caring for her dying husband.  The couple are far from home, having recently moved to New Mexico for the husband's work.  As the days go by and it becomes increasingly clear that Gerard will not recover, Michaela realises how much she loves her husband and how much her life is tied to his.  But love isn't enough to save a life and Michaela isn't sure she can continue to live without him.

This part of the book was gorgeously written and really evoked the pain and suffering of someone helpless to do anything as the love of their life fades away.  I commented to my partner at one point that it was depressing, but the writing was so gorgeous, I couldn't stop reading.

Inevitably Gerard dies and Michaela is forced to face life as a widow.  At just 37, she has a lot of years ahead of her, but locked in despair and grief, Michaela's head is filled only with thoughts of joining Gerard in the afterlife.

As we follow Michaela through these grief-filled months, things become more and more unsettling.  She is convinced she sees Gerard all over the place, even when the men she's looking at bear no resemblance to him.  She does bizarre things that seem entirely out of character for someone who previously seemed fairly rational and pragmatic.

And the further toward the end of the book I got, the less certain I was that Michaela was actually experiencing these things.  Was the entire book a demented fever dream?  Was it reality and Michaela is going slowly mad with grief?  Or is the truth somewhere in between these two scenarios?  I'm still not sure.  There are hints in the pages between chapters, but nothing is brought clearly into focus.

I love books that leave an aftertaste like this, even when I'm not sure I actually enjoyed the book that much while I was reading.  If something keeps resonating with me days after I finished reading it, there must have been something to it that captured my imagination...

So I would recommend this one.  Just maybe not for people who like everything to be nicely wrapped up at the end of a story.  This one is definitely wide open to interpretation.

But don't just listen to me.  Here's the blurb:

Amid a starkly beautiful but uncanny landscape in New Mexico, a married couple from Cambridge, MA takes residency at a distinguished academic institute. When the husband is stricken with a mysterious illness, misdiagnosed at first, their lives are uprooted and husband and wife each embarks upon a nightmare journey. At thirty-seven, Michaela faces the terrifying prospect of widowhood - and the loss of Gerard, whose identity has greatly shaped her own.

In vividly depicted scenes of escalating suspense, Michaela cares desperately for Gerard in his final days as she comes to realize that her love for her husband, however fierce and selfless, is not enough to save him and that his death is beyond her comprehension. A love that refuses to be surrendered at death—is this the blessing of a unique married love, or a curse that must be exorcized?

Part intimately detailed love story, part horror story rooted in real life, BREATHE is an exploration of hauntedness rooted in the domesticity of marital love, as well as our determination both to be faithful to the beloved and to survive the trauma of loss.