Friday, July 22, 2011


I am a broken woman. I've had a week off work to take care of my 6 year-old because it's the two week break at school. And I'm exhausted. Actually looking forward to going back to work tomorrow because it's more relaxing than taking care of an energetic boy-child.

I was subjected to a 3.5 hour marathon of water slides today. Now, I'm a swimmer from way back. I swam competitively right through high-school and still enjoy swimming whenever I get a chance. I like water slides too, but not 3.5 hours of them. In Taillights one of my characters is a championship diver and complains about how much his legs hurt after marathon practices where he has to climb to the platform over and over. I understand his pain....

Apart from the climb up to the top of the slides (over and over, first the blue slide, then the black - I wonder if this kid might be a little OCD...) there was the noise. Pools are large, cavernous buildings. Fill them with shrieking kids and the decibel level becomes extreme. I'm sure permanent hearing loss is a distinct possibility for all employees. What is is about little girls in groups? They SQEAL!

I actually had fun, despite my complaints, and my son is still bouncing with excitement over how excellent it was. So it wasn't all bad. But I have to say, there were a few things I noticed while being crammed into queues with large numbers of soggy kids.

Firstly, there are a lot of fat kids around. Not just plump, but fat. Especially boys. When I was a kid (yes, back in the dark ages... well, the '70s and '80s) fat kids were rare. There was maybe one fat kid per year at school and they were teased mercilessly. Now there seem to be almost as many fat kids as thin.

Secondly, what is up with teeny bikinis on pre-pubescent girls? These things must be miracles of engineering because there isn't anything there to hold them up. I'm well endowed in this area, and I struggle to find bikinis that work for me. How the hell do they stay in place without any weight there to hold them?

And on that subject of bikinis on pre-teens, has anyone else wondered if all those doting parents and grandparents sitting on the sidelines, just watching the kids play with an indulgent smile are who they say they are? This could be a pedophile's paradise. Hmmm... Can't think that way or I'll be too scared to let the kids go swimming anymore...

Do you have any observations about swimming pools? Kids school holiday activities? A cure for aching calves?


  1. I love a good swim in the summer and a good water slide, but I'm kidless, which means I can break up the activity with some low-key floating or sitting out in the sun. Have you ever been to Typhoon Lagoon at Disney World? One of my favorite water parks ever.

  2. Sigh. Do I understand your pain on how exhausting it is to be home with kids. Especially during the summer.

    I hate when I see little girls in tiny bikinis.

  3. I too hate little girls in little bikinis too. It seems kind of wrong, like trying to make them grow up too quickly.

  4. Oh yes, the ridiculous bikinis that make my 8 year old BEG. Yeah. Right. NOT going to happen.
    And yeah, I never could find tops that fit well, but my husband's never minded much... funny.