The darkness is absolute. I’m not sure if my eyes are open or closed. I strain to push the lids up, but they’re already wide. Something covers my mouth and nose, making breathing difficult. My lungs burn for air, but I can only suck in tiny mouthfuls through whatever smothers my face.
And it is just school. Ian enrolled me last week, so all I have to do is find the office and collect my class schedule. Then, of course, I have to find the right classrooms. The woman in the office is large and disorganized. Half-buried pens poke their noses out from under several precarious piles of paper.
“I know it’s here somewhere.” She shuffles through one of the stacks and I watch as an avalanche of forms cascades to the floor. Above me a clock ticks away the seconds with a sound like muffled gunfire. I sigh and lean on the counter. It’s only eight forty-two and already I’m exhausted.
As we walk, our shadows cutting a path through the moonlight, Lucy starts to sing.
Let me know what you think! And drop in on the other participant to see what they've got posted.
Yeah, that woman in the office reminds me of someone. =) Nice snippet.ReplyDelete
I'm especially in love with that final sentence! Gorgeous!ReplyDelete
I love that last line! Everyone has such good entries. Thanks for hosting!ReplyDelete
I love the last line too!ReplyDelete
Very mysterious. Definitely hooked me and I want to read the rest.ReplyDelete
I especially like the line, "Half-buried pens poke their noses out from under several precarious piles of paper." Kind of a tongue twister, isn't it? :)ReplyDelete
Good writing, although I admit there wasn't enough info in these three paragraphs to tell me what your novel is really about. I need to see a synopsis!
Kate, I signed up, but I'm feeling kind of dense. Am I supposed to post these on my own blog? Or in comments on your blog?ReplyDelete
On your blog!ReplyDelete
Then come back on Saturday to tell us who's you like the best.
Beautiful last line!ReplyDelete
I'm a new follower. Sorry I missed the blogfest--would have loved to participate!
LOVE this book :DReplyDelete
I like the beginning - such a good hook! And I like the visual of the shadows cutting through a path through the moonlight.ReplyDelete
I really like your writing style, and I love finding other writers who use the present tense (even if it seems a lot more common nowadays than when I started doing it back in '93). I really, really like the ending line.ReplyDelete
I'm putting in another vote for the last line: it's beautiful and has this lovely resonance to it. :-) I will say that I'm curious to know how this all ties together because in my mind, the beginning, middle, and end all sound like they could belong to completely different stories---not a criticism, just my initial thought upon reading them.ReplyDelete
Anyhow, this is a creative twist on the old "first 250 words" thing, so thanks for putting it together!