Friday, October 21, 2011

Leave Me Breathless Blogfest

Brenda Drake is running this blogfest today in which you post a scene that will leave the reader breathless. It can be a scene of suspense, horror, romance or whatever as long as it will take breath away. So, I thought I might share something from The Boyfriend Plague, since I'm now only 2 chapters away from the end of my revisions. It's Livvie's first kiss...

Bianca bent her head and her lips settled upon mine. They were warm and soft, slippery with lipstick. I shivered and pressed my own lips more firmly agains hers. Her mouth opened a little, and I followed, admitting her inquisitive tongue. It tickled mine, darting in and out, waltzing across my tastebuds. The flavor of wine, exotic and sour at the same time, flooded my mouth.

My heart beat a rapid tattoo through my chest. This was wrong. I should not be doing this. But I remained mesmerized, nerves I’d never noticed before singing songs of ecstasy along my spine. Kissing Jesse had been nothing like this.

She pulled away, slowly, as if surfacing from a dive. She licked her lips, smiling in satisfaction. Her lipstick, smeared now, blurred her mouth into something unrecognizable. I ran my tongue across my lips and tasted her there, spikes of electricity igniting in my belly.

“Wow…” she breathed. “You’re good.”

“Am I?” I reached for her again, wanting nothing but her mouth on mine once more.

“Yeah, you are.” She pushed me against the wall and I lost myself in her kisses.

Time held no meaning. It could have been seconds or forever before I drew back. Nothing so good could be wrong, yet my stomach writhed with guilt. “I… I should get home.” My voice was unsteady.

Bianca glanced up at the star-speckled sky and nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”

It felt completely natural when, as we walked toward the bus stop two blocks away, she slipped her hand into mine.

Do tell me what you think...


  1. You've added a nice touch of inner conflict without distracting from the intensity of the scene. Great writing

  2. Spicy and intense. Fantastic ^_^

  3. Oooo, I love this Kate!

    (As a side note, in my reader this comes up as bright yellow against the white background of reader. It looks great on your site but is soo hard to read over there!)

  4. Thanks for the feedback!

    And thanks for the note Juiliana! I'll change the color now...

  5. I always love your tight writing and amaaaazing detail!!!!!!

    Very intense! :)

  6. I agree with the others. This scene was intense. Great job.

  7. I enjoyed reading this scene. Your attention to detail and how you worked the MC's internal conflict into the story as well. beautifully done!

  8. I really liked the specific details ('The flavor of wine...'and 'her lipstick, smeared now...' are a great lines). Also, very nice ending for this shortened piece.

  9. Nice and the conflict was nice too. Great job.

  10. Thanks everyone! So glad you like it. It's always so scary to reveal a piece of something new and untested...

  11. That was hot! Especially with the internal struggle with guilt.

  12. Nice but I wondered about the rest of the kissers' bodies at the beginning of the scene. I liked the way you inserted taste.

  13. Thank you for participating in Can You Leave Us Breathless? Blogfest Contest. Your entry has been judged.

    Good luck!

    The Judges
    (Connie, Joannine, Marissa, and Brenda)