Query help

I'm not ready to start sending Sidewalks out yet, but it's never too early to start working on a kick-ass query.  So while I wait on my readers to finish the MS, I've been trying out query ideas.  And now I need some outside eyes across it.  I know it's not great yet and it needs to be.  So can you help me out?

Dear Agent of my Dreams,

#Insert personal info here and reason for choosing# I thought you might be interested in The Sidewalk's Regrets, my 84 000 word novel.

Seventeen year-old Sacha McLeod has never had time for rock music.  She’s far too busy practicing her violin, always focused on the next competition or workshop on the horizon.  She doesn’t expect a trip to the music store to replace a broken E-string to change her life.  But when she hears the guy playing guitar, something about the music grabs her gut and won’t let go.

She accepts an invitation from the guitarist, Dylan, and goes to see his band play.  The energy, violence and unpredictability of the music thrills her and she falls hard for Dylan and his wild, inventive sound.  

Sacha’s not alone in crushing on the band’s music.  A record label owner sees their live show and offers them the opportunity to move to the city and record.  With stars in their eyes, the band accept.  When her plans for the summer are shattered, Sacha jumps at the opportunity to spend time with Dylan in the city.

She’s expecting an idyllic summer filled with romance, passion and music, but tensions grow as the band, cramped in a filthy basement apartment, with little money and few opportunities to play, sink into depression and self-destructive behavior.   When Sacha finds herself playing second fiddle to Dylan’s newly acquired drug habit, she realizes that despite what the songs say, sometimes love isn’t all you need.

How can I make this better?

Observations & questions

I read all the time about how the population is getting fatter and how obesity is becoming epidemic in many first world countries.  But I don't see it much in my every day life.  I'd consider myself a little overweight, but certainly not obese or even fat.  Comfortably plump, maybe?  A little rotund?  Well padded?  Curvy?

Yesterday I took the kids to the water slides, and I was horrified at the number of genuinely fat people I saw.  A lot of them kids and teenagers.  Mainly girls, too.

When I was a kid, there was usually only one fat kid at school; now it seems like a good third of kids are what I would consider chunky at the least.  Is this because of TV and computer games?  Because parents are scared to let their kids run around outside without supervision?  Because kids don't walk or bike to school every day?

I don't have an answer, but I suspect it's a mixture of things.  I know when I was a kid we ran around outside a lot.  We roller skated and biked and jumped rope.  We hurled ourselves off monkey bars and played all kinds of vicious ball-games in the playground.  As long as we were home for dinner, we could play anywhere in the neighborhood.

And we did....

By the creek.  In the construction sites.  Up the back of a newly developed subdivision.  At the school down the road.  And anyone's house who invited us.

Is life more dangerous for kids nowadays, or are we just more aware of the dangers?  We rode bikes without helmets.  We climbed trees.  We skateboarded without any pads or wrist-supports.  Did we hurt ourselves?  Hell, yeah.  Do kids hurt themselves now?  Of course they do.  There's always someone with their arm in a cast or stitches in their chin.  Maybe not so many though.

Kids were abused in my day.  Pedophiles and flashers did their dirty business.  Occasionally a kid would go missing and for a few days that would be front page news.  But after the scare was over, parents relaxed again and kids were allowed to roam free again.

Has the world really got that much worse?  Or are we just more frightened of the things we can't control?  And is this fear making people fat?

Reading awesome books

With all this free time I've had this month, I've been reading a lot.  And I've discovered there are two ways I read books I'm really enjoying.

Some books I just never want to stop reading.  Once I pick it up, I want to keep reading until I've finished.  I can't wait to turn each page because I need to know what happens next.  They're quick reads.  Several times this month I've read a book in a day or so.

The other ones I love need to be read more slowly.  They're so awesome I want them to last forever, so I read slowly, dipping in and out so I can savor every word and phrase.  And when the book is finished, I miss it and wish I could read it again the same way.

But of course you can never read a book for the first time again.  And even rereading it won't be the same experience because you already know the book's secrets and surprises.  Which doesn't mean you can't enjoy a book a second time.  I have many books I return to fairly regularly because I love them so much.  They're like my old friends.

As a writer, I want my books to be like the ones I love.  I want people to savor the language and imagery, to be so involved with my characters that they can't bear to put the book down until they've found out what happens to them.

How do you read the books you love?

Beta reading

Since I've decided not to start my new book for a couple more weeks, I find I have time on my hands.  And for once, I'm all caught up on beta reading.  So, if anyone wants a fresh set of eyes across their work, I'm free to read.

Just a few things you should know....

If you write fantasy, I'm probably not your girl.  I'm fine with a few magical elements in a story, but if you have elves and magic and wizards, I'm just turned off before I start.  I hate The Hobbit and LOTR and all those stories set in weird mythical worlds.

I'm very honest.  If you're not ready to hear that your story isn't perfect, I'm probably not the right reader for you.  I don't sugar-coat things.

I write gritty, issue driven contemporary YA, so that's my area of expertise.  That said, I regularly beta for a horror writer, romance writers and urban fantasy writers as well as other YA authors.

So, if you're interested, drop me a brief email about your book, and we can head on down this interesting road together.  I usually suggest I do a chapter or two to start with, just to see if my technique gels with you and that you're getting what you need from me.

While I don't expect you to read for me in exchange, if you would like to, I do have an MS that could use a few more eyes.

So who needs a reader?  I think I can probably take on three to get me through to the end of October.

On A Break

After tinkering and making a few false starts on my new book, I've decided to take a break for the month of October and blitz the draft during NaNo next month.  I'm still working through niggly little revisions on Sidewalks, and after finishing two books already this year, I feel like a month off is a good idea.

I have a big film festival starting next week and the kids are off school for two weeks, so not working on something feels like the right decision.  And I've successfully completed NaNo twice before, and know what a huge butt kick it can be.

So, until November 1st I shall blissfully enjoy watching bad television, reading books and making a dent in the pile of DVDs that continually reside on my desk at work.  Not to mention playing with the kids and taking them on outings.

What do you do with your time while you're on a break from writing?

Laughter yoga

Last night a friend of mine asked me to come with her to Laughter Yoga.  I'm not a huge yoga fan.  I'm not that bendy and tend to fall a lot.  I usually end up laughing at my own ineptitude anyway, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

As it turns out, Laughter Yoga has nothing much to do with actual yoga at all.  It's all about laughing.  Apparently the body can't tell the difference between a real laugh and a fake one, so if you force yourself to laugh you get the same endorphins etc.  And to be honest, once you get into a room with ten other people who are laughing, it's kind of contagious.

I really enjoyed myself.  It's not often my face muscles ache after a workout!  And the exercises the tutor put us through were fun, more like theatre-sports or the kind of improv games we used to do at drama school.  Except you laugh all the way through.  At the end, there was a whole ten minutes of laughing for no reason while lying on the floor.  I kept trying to stop myself, thinking it was really silly, but with all those other laughers around me, I couldn't keep the giggles from bubbling up my throat.

Afterward, I felt great.  And for the rest of the night I found myself laughing far more at little things that might usually have only provoked a smirk otherwise.

Have you ever tried Laughter Yoga?  Did you like it?

Opening pages

The first pages of your book are important.  The first paragraph, the first line even.  You need to grab the reader by the throat from the get go to make sure they keep reading to the bottom and turn the page.

But you don't need to give away the whole book on the first page.

So many contests out there ask for the first 100-500 words of your manuscript and judge the book on those few words.  And yes, they are important. But I don't believe you have to give away the entire plot or even that much information in the first page.

A reader will be able to tell within a few lines if the writing is good.  Certainly, that's something I look for in an opening page.  If there are spelling or grammar errors, I will probably pass on reading any further.  If the prose is stilted or repetitive, ditto. If I'm dumped in the middle of a huge action scene, with no idea who the heroes and villains are, I'm probably going to put down the book.

So what entices me to read past the opening lines?  To take the book home from the library rather than back onto the shelves?

Voice, for one.  If I like the way the character comes off the page, I'll go with it, regardless of what's going on.  If I'm interested in the situation the character's in, I'll read on.  If I'm intrigued by something I don't fully comprehend, I'll keep going until that curiosity is sated.  And usually by then, I'm captured.

It's very rare that I'll put down a book after a first page.  In fact, usually I'll give it a chapter or two.  I hate to quit reading something and will usually keep going even if I'm not liking it especially.  I've been surprised often enough by books that are boring as hell for 3/4 of their length and then became utterly compelling in that last 100 pages.

Maybe I'm unusual...

How far into a book do you tend to get before putting it down?