Irking things...

I do a lot of critiquing. I have the most fabulous group of critique partners and writers I read for, and I learn so much from them. They are all wonderful writers, and have a good grasp on grammar and mechanics.

Every now and then I venture outside my comfy circle and critique for new writers. I get requests sometimes from newbies to WDC (writing.com), and if I have the time, I'll go and give them a review.

There are a number of common mistakes I see all the time, and a couple of them really irk me.

1. Confusing 'then' and 'than'. I know they can sound similar when spoken, but they are very different words with different meanings.

2. This is tricky, I know, but mixing up 'its' and 'it's'. Sometimes just a missing apostrophe can change the meaning of a sentence.

3. Using apostrophes wrong. You only need them when you're indicating possession, not when you have multiple things. You have three apples, not three apple's.

4. Overuse of semi-colons. I'm guilty of it. I love semi-colons, but they are a very specific piece of punctuation, and one that can be misused. They should be used sparingly, once every few pages at the most, not sprinkled liberally across every page.

5. Huge long sentences with multiple ideas separated by commas. Chop it up. Make several sentences of it. If I have to go back and re-read a sentence several times to understand it, it's too complex.

6. Funky dialogue tags. They stand out like the proverbial dog's bollocks. A simple 'said' or 'asked' is fine. As soon as a page of dialogue is littered with 'muttered', 'stammered', 'expleted', 'hollered' or 'squealed', it's too much. Especially if the tag is modified with an adverb - 'squealed shrilly' is redundant. There is a place for different dialogue tags, but use them sparingly.

7. The word 'that'. It's overused. WAY overused. And in many cases, it's not needed. Read the sentence aloud with 'that' in there, then again without it. Does it make sense? If so, take it out.

And that's just the ones that popped to the top of my head. Are there any writing quirks that prickle the hair on your neck?

Sparkfest!

This sounds like fun! It's a blogfest all about the things that inspired you to become a writer! It's happening 22nd - 26th August, so come and join the fun.

Contrasts

Yesterday started off beautiful. The sun shone, in was warm enough that we at our lunch on the deck. After lunch, while the kids played at being gardeners, I sat in the sun and read. For a while there I was almost too hot. Sweat prickled my neck.

So we decided it was a good time to go to the park with the really long slide.

As we drove over, we noticed a band of cloud on the horizon. We joked about how we were heading in the wrong direction. But the sun still shone, and it was remarkably windless.

At the park, which was mobbed with families who'd had the same idea, the kids hurled themselves down the slide with abandon. After a few minutes though, the sun started fading. Dark clouds scurried across the sky. The sea that had been flat moments before, whipped into a frenzy of dueling white caps. Freezing wind rattled the leaves in the trees and bit through my sweater (I hadn't brought a coat because it was so warm).

A few minutes later it started to rain. And hail.

Looking up at the sky, I could see the line where the front began. Behind it was the roiling black cloud; in front, the clear blue sky. It was an awesome example of what a cold front really is. The contrast between the two types of weather was jarring, unsettling, and I couldn't help but think about how such a dramatic exchange of climatic conditions could be used in a story.

Have you ever seen anything like that? Have you used it in your work?

Love Story

I don't often mix up my professional and writing lives, but this little film is so completely wonderful I can't resist. It's going to be hard for some of you to find, but I urge you to persevere because this really is THE most charming and delightful film I've seen all year...

LOVE STORY

New Zealand 2011

Running Time: 90 minutes

Cast: Florian Habich, Frank Habich and the people of New York City

Director: Florian Habich

Screenplay: Florian Habich

Quite possibly the most delightful film of the year, Love Story is idiosyncratic director Florian Habich’s love letter to New York and its people. It is also a clever deconstruction of the filmmaking process as he discusses the film he’s making with his father in German via Skype, and with random strangers on the street.

Florian, playing himself, sees a beautiful woman on a subway platform, a delectable slice of red velvet cake in her hands. They speak and she suggests they take different trains and meet at Coney Island. She’s not there when Florian arrives and he wanders around, asking people about women and cake and the probability of meeting someone again in NYC.

Amazingly, they do manage to meet again, and the woman, Masha, agrees to be a part of his film. It’s here that the lines begin to blur between the film being created and the reality of a relationship developing between the pair. Florian uses the public to script his film, asking for plot developments from a group at a restaurant, or students at an all night drugstore, even leaping into an occupied cab in order to ask the woman occupant advice on courting.

Florian is so artless, you can’t help but follow. His father’s advice is taken, and some of the film’s funniest moments come when Florian tries to fit his dad’s commercial ideas into his quirky vision.

As the film nears completion, and Florian’s days in New York grow numbered, the ending becomes less and less clear, as does the reality of the relationship that appears to have developed between film maker and muse.

I loved this film. It had me walking around with a smile on my face all day after I saw it, and even now, just thinking about it gives me a warm tingle. It’s good natured, odd, unsettling and sweet all at the same time, and I seriously could not recommend it more highly. I’m not a good enough reviewer to do it justice, so just go see it for yourself and see if you can keep the grin from your lips as you exit the theatre.

Let me know if you find it. I tell me you didn't fall head over heels in love with it. Go on. I dare you....

Fabbo contest

The fantastic people over at YATopia are having a contest again. This one sounds awesome, but also REALLY hard! You have to write a synopsis of your novel in just 3 sentences. I struggled to get my synopsis to 2 pages, so the thought of trying to get the whole story into 3 sentences gives me the willies. But I'm always up for a challenge.

Are you? Then get over there and do it!

Q & A

Well, there certainly seem to be a lot of you out there. Hello new followers! This is exciting.

But who are you all? Some of you I know from visiting your blogs on blogfests, but others, I'm just not sure. So I thought it was time for a little Q & A. Tell me something about yourself, and ask me something . Anything. You'll find I'm an endless fount of meaningless trivia.

So yes, this is an open forum today, for you to ask me things, and to tell me about yourselves.

Let me get the ball rolling... Here's something about me you probably don't know: all my favorite vegetables start with the letter A -asparagus, artichokes and avocados. And yes, I do know an avocado is a fruit.

Tell me about you!

Time to kick my ass...

Okay guys, now's the moment you've all been waiting for. You need to kick my ass. Yup, seriously.

When I started my new project, The Boyfriend Plague, I gave myself until July 27th to finish the first draft. It's now August 2nd, and I'm nowhere near done. This book is hard to write. Really hard. I've never struggled with a draft as much as I'm struggling with this one.

It's frustrating because the story is right there, close enough for me to touch, but I can't seem to get it. It's a complex story, with lots of different threads, and every time I reach a point in the story where I think the next big thing can happen, something gets in the way, or another thing needs setting up.

I'm 100% determined to get through this draft by the end of August. Then I can let it rest for a few weeks while I try to figure out what's wrong with it. So I need you all to kick me in the pants to get writing. I'm sitting on 32K, and I foresee this book being around 70 - 75K when it's done, so I'm almost at the halfway point (or I should be...).

Can you help me get my ass in gear and finish this draft?