Weekly Goals 27-10-25

 I missed my Friday post because I was in Auckland for work and didn't think about it when I got back.  First time in a long time I've missed a day.  Oops!  But never mind.

Goals this week...  Well, the main one is to try and finish the new book.  I'm taking a couple of days off work to write and hopefully that will be what it takes to actually finish the draft.  I know there's a lot of stuff I need to go back and fix and revise and tidy up, but if I can get to the end, it'll be an achievement.

This book has been an interesting one for me in terms of figuring out if I actually have a process for writing books because I've done a bunch of things differently and they haven't worked for me at all.  I started off trying to write the book linearly - from start to finish - and it didn't work.  It took me far too long to hit the plot points I needed to hit, even when I tried writing the story in two different ways.  Didn't help that I also started writing from Devon's POV which turned out was the wrong one.

Then, I didn't write an ending early on in the piece, which I usually do.  I actually didn't have any real idea for the ending other than the fact Devon and Arlo are still friends at the end, even after everything they have to go through.  And not having an ending to aim for, meant all these little things I dropped into the story along the way didn't necessarily have a purpose, but still needed to be wrapped up.

Which is why I think I'm struggling with the ending.  It's not what I expected it to be and is a much bigger, more climactic ending than I ever intended it to be, and involves characters I didn't expect to be more than distant memories for Arlo.  Yet, I feel like what happens is 100% true to his character and there isn't really any other way it could go.

We shall see how it ends up.  And then, how my critique group respond to it.

What are your goals this week?

Books I've read: I Kissed Shara Wheeler

 

I picked this one up at the library because I thought the cover looked like one of those old pulp lesbian novels they used to sell in wire racks at the back of drugstores (yeah, I'm old).  Then I realized I've read other books by this author and sort of enjoyed them, so decided it was coming home with me.  It's been a while since I read a whole book over a weekend, but this one was a quick, fun read and I breezed through it.

Just a few weeks before graduation, Sarah Wheeler, queen of the senior class at the strictly religious Willowgrove Academy, disappears.  And before she does, she kisses her arch rival for valedictorian, Chloe.  Chloe has long been an outsider at Willowbank.  She's from California and only moved to the small town a few years back, a curiosity because she has two moms.

Shara's disappearance doesn't seem to be ringing alarm bells for anyone else, but Chloe needs answers. What did that kiss mean?  And where the heck is Shara?  Desperate to try and figure it out, she breaks into Shara's house and searches her room.  While she's there, the bad boy next door, Rory, breaks in too.  Turns out, Sarah kissed him too in the hours before fleeing prom.

Soon Chloe, Rory and Shara's boyfriend Smith find themselves on an unlikely scavenger hunt, uncovering clues Shara has left all over town.  Thrown together with these two boys she barely knows, Chloe finds herself going places and seeing things about the town she lives in she's never seen before.  Not to mention discovering things about people she never expected.  Including herself.

I had fun reading this book, but I found the ending a little disappointing.  Once Shara's mystery is solved, the rest of the book just seems to fizzle out even though there are still some more revelations to be had before the final page.  I think this is because the real Shara is way less interesting than the Shara we see through Chloe's eyes.  Not to mention entirely unrealistic.

But up until that point, I found this a fun mystery with a couple of interesting characters and enough action and intrigue to keep me turning the pages.

So, I'd recommend this if you're looking for something quick to read over a weekend.

But don't just listen to me.  Here's the blurb:

Chloe Green is so close to winning. After her moms moved her from SoCal to Alabama for high school, she’s spent the past four years dodging gossipy classmates and a puritanical administration at Willowgrove Christian Academy. The thing that’s kept her going: winning valedictorian. Her only rival: prom queen Shara Wheeler, the principal’s perfect progeny.

But a month before graduation, Shara kisses Chloe and vanishes.

On a furious hunt for answers, Chloe discovers she’s not the only one Shara kissed. There’s also Smith, Shara’s longtime quarterback sweetheart, and Rory, Shara’s bad boy neighbor with a crush. The three have nothing in common except Shara and the annoyingly cryptic notes she left behind, but together they must untangle Shara’s trail of clues and find her. It’ll be worth it, if Chloe can drag Shara back before graduation to beat her fair-and-square.

Thrown into an unlikely alliance, chasing a ghost through parties, break-ins, puzzles, and secrets revealed on monogrammed stationery, Chloe starts to suspect there might be more to this small town than she thought. And maybe—probably not, but maybe—more to Shara, too.

Fierce, funny, and frank, Casey McQuiston's I Kissed Shara Wheeler is about breaking the rules, getting messy, and finding love in unexpected places.

Weekly Goals 20-10-25

 I did some more writing yesterday and got through to the end of the mammoth chapter.  It's over 5K, so I may need to break it up somehow.  I also think I need to give Devon more to do.  But that's all stuff for the next draft.  I'll just write myself a note and move on.

So this week's goal is to keep going.  I'm so close to the end of this book I can smell it.

I'm going to Auckland for work at the end of the week which will be fun.  I rather stupidly didn't think about adding on a day or so after the work stuff to catch up with friends, but I'll do that next time.  There will be plenty of next time.

Long weekend this weekend too, and I'm hoping to take an extra couple of days after it so I will be able to finish the book.

What are your goals this week?

Celebrate the Small Things 17-10-25

 

It's the end of the week, so it's time to celebrate the small things.

So, what am I celebrating this week?

It's the weekend!

It's been another busy week at work and on top of that, I've had a lot of other things on as well.  The Jazz Festival is happening and I went to two gigs on Thursday night with my old colleagues.  Which was fun.   Except I didn't get to bed until almost 1am.   Friday?  Not so much fun.

I've had three rejections for A Stranger to Kindness this week.  Seems excessive, really.  Not quite sure why I keep persisting when it's becoming pretty clear nobody wants my beautiful mute foster kid story.  And if they don't want that one, I'm not sure they're going to like my new book any more,  Homeless, lame rent-boys don't strike me as being high on agents' lists of desirable subject matter.

Hoping to get some writing done this weekend.  Next weekend is a long one and I'm hoping to tack on a couple extra days after it to try and finish my book.  Especially since I'm traveling with the orchestra next week and won't get to start my weekend until Sunday.

What are you celebrating this week?

Books I've Loved: Lola in the Mirror

 

After loving Boy Swallows Universe when I read it earlier this year,  I decided I needed to read more books by Trent Dalton.  This one didn't disappoint.

It's about a homeless girl whose mother has kept her on the run as long as she can remember.  To keep her safe, she's never been told her real name.  The threat of violence is real and has hung over them the whole time they've been running from town to town, city to settlement.  Now, almost eighteen and determined to become a world-famous artist despite her background, the girl and her mother live in a junkyard near the river in Brisbane.  To keep themselves afloat, both help distribute drugs for the city's feared drug lord, Flora Box.

When the mother drowns in the midst of undertaking an heroic act, the girl is set adrift, the one person anchoring her to the world gone.  In the aftermath, she begins to discover things about herself that change the portrait she's drawn of both her mother and the person she thinks she's becoming.   The one person who can talk to her and offer some guidance is Lola, the mysterious woman in the red dress who appears in a mirror the girl salvaged somewhere.  Lola seems to have all the answers when the world keeps throwing up more and more difficult questions.

Questions about love, morality, identity, violence and revenge.

I loved this book.  It's tough and gritty and violent, but also beautiful and sensitive.  The girl with no name has an artist's eye and her perspective on the grimmer sides of life are often beautiful, even when laced with the pragmatism of survival.  Somehow, throughout a life spent on the run, living in cars or tents, answering to a different name every few weeks, she's managed to maintain a love for life and a belief in the inherent goodness of people.

Before each chapter is a gorgeous illustration which is described on the following page like an artwork in a gallery catalogue, referencing the way the girl narrates her life like a documentarian making a film about the artist's life.

I highly recommend this book.  It's exciting, fast paced, beautifully lyrical in places and filled to the brim with characters you won't easily forget.

But don't just listen to me.  Here's the blurb:

'Mirror, mirror, on the grass, what's my future? What's my past?' A girl and her mother are on the lam. They've been running for sixteen years, from police and the monster they left in the kitchen with the knife in his throat. They've found themselves a home inside an orange 1987 Toyota HiAce van with four flat tyres parked in a scrapyard by the edge of the Brisbane River – just two of the 100,000 Australians sleeping rough every night. The girl has no name because names are dangerous when you're on the run. But the girl has a dream. Visions in black ink and living colour. A vision of a life as a groundbreaking artist of international acclaim. A life outside the grip of the Brisbane underworld drug queen 'Lady' Flora Box. A life of love with the boy in the brown suit who's waiting for her in the middle of the bridge that stretches across a flooding and deadly river. A life far beyond the bullet that has her name on it. And now that the storm clouds are rising, there's only one person who can help make her dreams come true. That person's name is Lola and she carries all the answers. But to find Lola, the girl with no name must first do one of the hardest things we can sometimes ever do. She must look in the mirror. A big, moving, blackly funny, violent, heartbreaking and beautiful novel of love, fate, life and death and all the things we see when we look in the mirror. All of the past, all of the present, and all of our possible futures. 'Mirror, mirror, please don't lie. Tell me who you are. Tell me who am I.'

Weekly Goals 13-10-25

 I got some writing done over the weekend and I'm feeling like I'm getting very, very close to wrapping up this story.  This last chapter's going to be a doozy though.  It's already over 3K and I have a bunch more to write.  Guess it makes up for some of the earlier ones that are just a single sentence.

So, my goal this week is to keep writing.  Try to get to the end of this giant chapter and finish the book.  I'm still trying to figure out a few things, but I think they'll come clear to me as I write.

What are your goals this week?

Celebrate the Small Things 10-10-25

 

It's the end of the week, so it's time to celebrate the small things.

So, what am I celebrating this week?

It's the weekend!

And boy do I need it!  It has been another crazy week at work and I'm tired.  Even with one less teaching shift at the gym.

I got a couple more rejections for A Stranger to Kindness.  Both of these were from very early queries I sent and had pretty much written off as no-response-means-no.  

The concert we had on Thursday was magical.  A sold-out house which is always nice, and an absolutely delightful soloist/conductor from Finland.

Haven't had a chance to write this week, but plan to over the weekend.  I read through what I wrote last week and I'm pretty happy with it.  If I managed to take a couple of extra days off around Labour weekend, I should be able to finish this draft.

What are you celebrating this week?

Books I've read: Breathing Underwater

 

I came across this one when I was browsing the Libby app for something to read while I ate lunch since I'd finished my earlier read.  It sounded like something I'd be interested in, and did not disappoint.

Freya has visited her grandparents on their remote island home every summer she can remember.  She and her brother Joe became different people on the island, exploring, swimming, fishing and mixing with the summer people who come to camp.

But this year is different.  Last summer Joe drowned in a boating accident and life just hasn't been the same since.  Not only is there a huge hole in her life where Joe used to be, but her parents have been squabbling and the family are moving out of the home they've lived in forever to get away from the painful memories.

Freya isn't sure how being back on the island without Joe will feel, but it's her favorite place in the world and doesn't want to lose that as well.

At first it's strange for her.  Memories of Joe assault her at every turn.  She even feels like she sees him here and there, but rather than being scared or saddened by it, Freya is calmed by his ghostly presence.  As the summer crawls by in a series of picnics, parties on the beach, swims and burgeoning new friendships with this year's summer people, Freya begins to open up to the possibility that life may not be as bleak as she was beginning to think.  

This is a sweet, quiet book about grief and love and learning to accept both as natural parts of life.  The island setting is vividly evoked and becomes a central character in the story, much the same way Joe's memory is.  It's a good thing the island is so well drawn because many of the supporting characters are really just sketches and don't have enough depth or substance to really hang onto.  But this could have been intentional - when you're grieving, sometimes you can't risk getting close enough to other people to really see them as more than shadows.

So I'd recommend this one.  It's not full of drama or big moments, but I found it satisfying enough.

But don't just listen to me.  Here's the blurb:

Freya has come to visit her grandparents who live on a remote island. Last year she visited them with her brother - but last year her brother died alone in a boating accident. Whilst back on the island, Freya finds a way, with the calming presence of her grandparents and the gentle care and attention of the people around her, to adjust to the fact that her brother has gone, and that life - and love - are still vibrantly in the air. A perfect coming of age for any young girl just tipping into teenhood.

Weekly Goals 6-10-25

 I had a really great writing day yesterday.  Wrote close to 3.5K words in a single afternoon.  It felt really good too.  I haven't read over what I wrote yet, so it may be trash, but I don't think so.  For the first time in weeks, I feel like I've found the right way to end this story.

So my goal this week is to keep up that momentum.  I don't think I'll find a day I can take off to write, unfortunately - we have concerts on Thursday and Saturday and the bookings for next year are through the roof - but I plan to use the weekend as best I can to keep going.

I'm back to only teaching two mornings a week at the gym from tis week, which gives me a little more time to do writing related stuff.  I might try to get some reviewing for my crit group done in the mornings to free up a little more time over the weekend.

There just aren't enough hours in the week.

What are your goals this week?

Celebrate the Small Things 3-10-25

It's the end of the week, so it's time to celebrate the small things.

So, what am I celebrating this week?

It's the weekend!

And boy do I need a weekend.  This week at work has been nuts, and next week is going to be even more so.  So many events so close together!

Only one rejection for A Stranger to Kindness this week.  

Caught up with a friend from my last job on Wednesday, which was great.

Haven't done any writing, but this week was my last week of teaching three morning classes in a row, so I'll have a little bit more time up my sleeve from now on.  Only a little, mind you...

What are you celebrating this week?

IWSG - October

It's the first Wednesday of the month, so it's time for the Insecure Writers Support Group! 

The awesome co-hosts for the October 1 posting of the IWSG are Beth Camp, Crystal Collier, and Cathrina Constantine!

This month's question is a good one!

 

What is the most favorite thing you have written, published or not? And why?

My favorite thing I've written is the book I'm currently querying,  A Stranger to Kindness.  It's the hardest book I've ever written and took me over five years to complete because I had a complete crisis of confidence after writing about 15K and I ended up abandoning it for quite some time, wrote another book, then came back to it and found my way into the story and the characters in a way I hadn't been able to before.

I'm not usually someone who worries too much about plot in my books.  They tend to be more character driven and the plot kind of develops as I explore the characters and how they act and react to the people and situations around them.  In A Stranger to Kindness, the main character is very damaged and stuff most people can do without much thought is incredibly challenging for him.  And these challenges really drove the plot for me in this book, to the point where things happen to him that I wasn't expecting, but were, in retrospect, exactly what would happen to this kid.

I kind of love him.

But I don't just love Harley, the main character.  I also love his brother, Wolfe and the friend he makes at his new school, Meg.  Meg's not an entirely new character - she's the younger sister of the main character in Stumped - but she's a few years older now, and the sass she demonstrated as an eleven-year-old in that book, has developed into some real bad-assery in this one.

I love this book because I love the characters, but I also feel like it's a hugely satisfying story on many levels.  It's about trauma and family and love and finding a place to call home.  I think I managed to write a really satisfying arc for my characters and, like in the best stories, they're different at the end than they were at the start. 

I also think I did a pretty good job with the voice in this one.  Voice is something that comes pretty naturally to me, but finding a voice for a POV character who doesn't speak was a huge challenge for me.  My writing background is in theatre and film, so dialogue plays a massive part in my storytelling.  I think the crisis of confidence I faced in writing this book was based largely on the fact I couldn't lean on dialogue to do any heavy lifting here because Harley's mute for most of the book.

Unfortunately, you can't read this book yet because it's not published.  And if the number of rejections it's racking up is anything to go by, it may not be any time soon.  But if you're interested in my favorite of my published books, it's Stumped - the one in which Meg plays a small part.  

What's your favorite thing you've written?  Is it published?  I'd love to add it to my TBR pile if it is!

Weekly Goals 29-9-25

 I got some writing done over the weekend.  Not a huge amount, but some.  Unfortunately, I don't know what's going to happen now I've got my characters where they need to be.  I'm sure it will come clear once I start writing it (I hope), but I have to actually write it.  I keep thinking I can have a day off to write, but there's always too much going on at work to actually claw back those extra hours.

So, this week's goal is to try and get through this section.  Once I've written it, how the book ends will be clear.  And I'm pretty sure it's not going to be the happy ending Arlo might be thinking he's getting, the one where he gets everything he wants.  I feel like it'll be more bittersweet, but then, that's kind of my brand.

I think this week (or maybe next week) is my last week of teaching three mornings a week, which will be a nice change of pace.  Amazing what a difference just having one more free morning a week makes.

What are your goals for this week?

Celebrate the Small Things 26-9-25

  

It's the end of the week, so it's time to celebrate the small things.

So, what am I celebrating this week?

It's the weekend!

And daylight saving starts on Sunday, so summer can't be too far away, even if it still feels like winter.

It's been a very busy week at work so I haven't had any time to write.  I hope to get some done over the weekend, but I also have quite a lot to do over the weekend.  Grrrrr....  Why does life have to get in the way of the things I actually want to do?

I got three new rejections for A Stranger to Kindness this week.  Starting to feel like continuing to query is pointless, but I'll persist a few more weeks.  I keep reminding myself it only takes one person to fall in love with it and maybe I haven't found that person yet.

I can't think of anything else I want to celebrate this week, so I'll leave it there.  What are your end-of-week celebrations?

Books I've Read: People of the Book

 

I've read other books by Geraldine Brooks and enjoyed them, so when a colleague recommended this to me, I jumped at the chance to read it.

It's part historical, part fact and part mystery, everything tied together by a present-day framing story in which an expert in ancient texts tries to unravel the secrets held by a famed book.  The book in question is a Jewish haggadah that was found in Sarajevo after the conflict.  Unusual in that it was illustrated, something Jews rarely did, the book was rescued and hidden many times over the years since its creation in 15th century Spain.

As the modern-day researcher, an Australian, tries to discover more about the book and its origins from such things as a fragment of butterfly wing, a hair and a stain that could be either blood or wine, the stories behind each of these things unfolds before us, revealing details of people and cultures from the ghettos of Venice, to an emir's palace and many places in between.

In the modern day, the book plays out more like a thriller as the researcher's work is interrupted by fascists and those who believe the book is theirs, not something that belongs to the diversity of cultures represented in Sarajevo across centuries.  She soon finds herself dragged into the shady underworld of forgery and art theft where only her unique knowledge and skill might get her out.

It took me a long time to read this book - almost three weeks, which is unheard of for me.  I think I was perhaps too tired to fully absorb it at times and found I had to go back and re-read sections to catch myself up.  But I did enjoy it when I had the chance to read more than a couple of pages at a time.  I feel like it might be one I need to come back to again when I'm less busy and better able to focus.

In many ways, through telling the story of the haggadah, the book offers a history of European Judaism, showing the way the Jews were constantly moved on from the places they settled, the endless persecution and their determination to hold fast to their beliefs even when faced with dreadful punishment for practicing them.

I'd recommend this one for people who enjoy historical fiction.  The thriller aspect is there, but it's pretty understated and if you go into this expecting a thrilling ride, you might just be disappointed.

But don't just listen to me.  Here's the blurb:

The "complex and moving" (The New Yorker) novel by Pulitzer Prize winner Geraldine Brooks follows a rare manuscript through centuries of exile and war.

Inspired by a true story, "People of the Book" is a novel of sweeping historical grandeur and intimate emotional intensity by an acclaimed and beloved author.

Called "a tour de force" by the San Francisco Chronicle, this ambitious, electrifying work traces the harrowing journey of the famed Sarajevo Haggadah, a beautifully illuminated Hebrew manuscript created in fifteenth-century Spain.

When it falls to Australian rare book expert Hanna Heath to conserve this priceless work, the tiny artifacts she discovers in its ancient binding—a butterfly wing fragment, wine stains, salt crystals, a white hair—only begin to unlock the book’s deep mysteries and unexpectedly plunges Hanna into the intrigues of fine art forgers and ultra-nationalist fanatics.

Weekly goals 22-9-25

 I did a bit of writing over the weekend although I ended up throwing away a chunk of what I did after I realized I was going in the wrong direction.  I finally figured out a way to end the book that will let me explore the dangling plot thread I was worried about.  At least, I hope this will be the way to finish the book.  I'm not quite sure yet what might happen when I let Devon and Arlo go there, but I guess I'll find out.

I might try to take Thursday off to write, depending on how busy it is.  I have eight hours of lieu time I need to use ASAP, so Thursday might be the day to do it.  I'd pick Friday, but we have an all staff meeting for two hours and I probably shouldn't miss that.

So my goal this week is to try and write this section and hit the end.  I think there are probably odd bits and pieces I'll need to add in revision later to make it work, but that's what revision is for, right?

What are your goals this week?

Celebrate the Small Things

 

It's the end of the week, so it's time to celebrate the small things.

So, what am I celebrating this week?

It's the weekend!

It has been a long week and I am definitely in need of a break.  Especially since next week is going to be a crazy one.  I have nothing planned this weekend, which is a good thing because I just want to stay home and read and write and not think about work for a couple of days.

I haven't done any writing this week.  Not even my daily flash fiction which I've been so good about doing all year. I've taught some extra classes at the gym and between that and the amount of brain power learning my job is taking,  I just haven't had anything left for writing anything.

I've had two rejections for A Stranger to Kindness this week too.  At this point, I'm not quite sure why I keep sending out queries, but I'm not ready to give up on Harley and Wolfe and their story.  Even though no one seems to want it.

What are you celebrating this week?

Books I've read: The Stars are Million Glittering Worlds

 

I first came across this book before it was published when the publisher approached me about interviewing the author for the arts magazine I was editing.  Timing wasn't kind to us and the interview didn't happen, but I did receive a copy of the book for a giveaway.  It sat on my desk, looking enticing and beautiful for several weeks, but I was afraid that if I took it home to read, I spill coffee on it or drop it in the bath.  So, it remained unread until my book club decided it was a good option for this month's read since there were multiple copies available through the Libby app. (If you don't have the Libby app, get it now - it's been life-changing).

I really enjoyed this book despite deciding by the end that I really didn't like any of the characters very much.

There are three main characters - Thea, Sarah and Chris - who meet at a backpacker's in Guatemala.  Sarah and Chris are loosely a couple, having met elsewhere in Central America and met up again in San Pedro, a little town on a lake.  Thea arrives later, determined to climb some of the nearby mountains - her father who was a keen mountaineer died recently, and climbing is a way for Thea to feel close to him again.

All three of these people are traveling to get away from their real lives, to escape reality, their families and past trauma.  While they keep moving, they can be someone else; perhaps better than the people they were at home.

When tragedy strikes, Thea spirals, her past racing to meet her once more.  Even staying away doesn't seem to keep the darkness from overwhelming her, so she decides to go home, travelling through Australia to get there.

She never makes it home - she falls into a relationship and quickly finds herself building a life in Tasmania.  A mostly comfortable life, with friends and activities to keep the grief that binds her and her partner at bay.

Until another tragedy strikes and Thea finds herself questioning everything, the unanswered questions surrounding the tragedy in Guatemala suddenly overwhelming once more.  But if she wants the truth about what really happened, she needs to confront her own truth and finally confront her own tragedy, the one that sent her running to the far side of the globe.

This book went in some very unexpected directions. I won't ruin it by telling you too much about those directions because a big part of what made it enjoyable were these changes of direction.  Yet despite them being unexpected, none of them were out of character for the people making those decisions.

Unfortunately, I didn't much like any of the characters, and by the end, I liked them all even less.  Which, I suspect, may have been the point.  But despite not liking them, the book was very readable and had some lovely descriptions and language sprinkled through it.  There were enough buried secrets to keep you reading on, desperate to find out exactly what made these people tick - just why they behaved in some of the ways they did.

So, I'd recommend this one.

But don't just listen to me.  Here's the blurb:

A hypnotic novel about love, guilt and forgiveness. If you loved Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts by Josie Shapiro, you will adore The Stars Are a Million Glittering Worlds.

Thea, a young woman crushed by guilt, flees to Central America to escape her life in New Zealand.

In Guatemala, she meets the charismatic Chris and his partner, Sarah, and the three of them form a tight bond. While the rest of the world is caught in the grip of the global financial crisis, the three friends find a false reality in the backpacker party town of San Pedro. Surrounded by the dark volcanic beauty of the Guatemalan highlands, Thea starts to come to terms with her past. But everything changes when a tragedy occurs.

Knowing she has to leave Central America, but not ready to return home, Thea settles in Tasmania and into a new relationship. Bonded by grief, she and her partner make a life for themselves in Hobart. But years later, when tragedy strikes again, all Thea's old grief and guilt - together with unanswered questions - come to the surface. Against the backdrop of the pandemic and lockdowns, Thea begins to question the trust she has in her partner. She realises that if she wants to know the truth, she will need to come clean about her past.

Weekly Goals 15-9-25

I didn't manage to get any actual writing done over the weekend.  I did some writing-adjacent stuff - critiquing, querying, reading - but no actual writing.  Which is annoying.  But then, since I'm also a little stuck as to how I'm going to get to the end of the book I'm writing, maybe it isn't such a bad thing to have some time to think about it.

This week, my goal is to actually write.  At this stage I have nothing on this weekend, and I'm going to try and keep it that way.  And after the concert this week, I should have enough time owing to me I can take a day off to write next week.  Which will be good.

Other than that, I don't have any real goals this week.  I only have about 10 days more before the woman whose job I've taken over finishes up, so I need to learn as much as I possibly can from her before she leaves.  Unfortunately, she's working remotely from Ireland so the time difference means the only time we can meet is early in the morning which isn't ideal.  But I'll make it work...

What are your goals this week?

Celebrate the Small Things 12-9-25

It's the end of the week, so it's time to Celebrate the Small Things.

What am I celebrating this week?

It's the weekend!

Unfortunately, I have a lot of stuff booked in for this weekend, so I don't think I'm going to get a lot of writing time (again).  Prioritising time to write is really important to me, but somehow life keeps getting in my way.  Hopefully I'll get a little time tomorrow afternoon, but I have to learn a new class to teach at the gym next week too, so that's going to cut into the little piece of time I have.

I guess, I'm not in such a bad position - I'm almost finished the new book and I only really started it after Easter, so that's been pretty quick!  Especially considering A Stranger to Kindness took me five years to finish...  I mean, okay, I did write Guide Us somewhere in that five-year period, so it's not like I was 100% focused on Stranger all that time.

Talking of Stranger, I got another couple of rejections this week which is disappointing.  I think I need to start writing romantasy or horror or something - I feel like that's what agents are looking for.  Unfortunately, that's not the kind of story I want to write - or the kind of story I want to read.

My oldest son turns 21 on Monday which is somewhat confronting.  I swear I'm not old enough to have a 21-year-old son....  Or if I am, I don't feel old enough to have a 21-year-old son.  In my head I don't feel that different to the way I felt at sixteen!

Yet, tonight I'm going to a friend's retirement party...  Go figure!

What are you celebrating this week?

Books I've Read: Every Time You Go Away

I've been a massive fan of Abigail Johnson for a long time and I've been excited to read this one ever since I read about it being the first time she's written a character who, like she does in real life, uses a wheelchair.

What's always drawn me to Abigails books is her ability to write beautiful, broken boy characters.  And this one doesn't disappoint!  Ethan is definitely broken.  His mother has been consumed by addiction for most of his life and she has often dumped him with his grandparents for periods of time while she either tried to get clean or went on benders.  She's always come back for him though, even when what she was taking him to wasn't the best place for a kid.

Rebecca has grown up in the house next door to Ethan's grandparents and, as someone around the same age, inevitably became friends with him.  It hasn't been easy though - Ethan is often spirited away so quickly he barely has time to leave a note to say goodbye.  And as they've grown up, their friendship has grown deeper and more complicated and his leaving hurts more each time.

Now, Ethan's back.  A lot has happened since they were last together and they've never talked much in between visits. So, this is the first time Ethan has seen Rebecca since the accident that killed her father and left her reliant on a wheelchair to get around.  Yet. despite everything, they still find themselves falling back into their familiar rhythms.

Yet things aren't quite the same.  Ethan is fixated on finding where his mother went when she skipped out of rehab the day after signing herself in.  Initially Rebecca helps him with the search, phoning people she might once have known and helping Ethan track down increasingly tentative leads.  The more she helps, the more she feels like Ethan is leaving her all over again.

Rebecca's mother has barely spoken to her since the accident and is singularly focused on getting her off to college.  She's about to marry her new lover and Rebecca feels increasingly like she's counting down the hours until she never has to look at her again.  Rebecca doesn't even know if she wants to go to college - she's happy in her part-time job making jewelery and loves the woman she works with and her chaotic, growing family.

Over the course of the summer, these two best friends have to face the things that have damaged them in the past and decide how they're going to face the future - and if maybe that future is brighter if they stay together.

I enjoyed this book very much.  Both characters felt very real in both their guilt and anger over the situations they found themselves in.  Neither of them are perfect and their abilities to acknowledge and even embrace their flaws was refreshing to see.  I found myself really rooting for them to figure it out and find a way they could be together.  I felt like they were both better people together than they were apart.

So I'd recommend this one.  It's kind of heavy in places, but in the best possible way.

But don't just listen to me; here's the blurb:

Eight years ago, Ethan and Rebecca met, two trouble-making kids sharing secrets and first kisses in a treehouse, until Ethan’s mom returned to take him away. Each and every visit, his only goodbye was a flower on Rebecca’s windowsill.

Three years ago, Ethan left for the last time to take care of his mother, who’s struggled with addiction his whole life.

Two years ago, Rebecca was in a car accident that killed her father. She’s been learning to navigate life as a wheelchair user ever since.

Now, they discover if their hardships have torn them apart…or will bring them closer than ever.

Weekly Goals 8-9-25

I didn't get much writing done over the weekend, but I did do a read-through of the whole book so far and have made a few notes on things that need to be worked on and things that are missing.  So my goal for this week is to get those things fixed up so I can actually write the ending.  I also sent a new batch of queries out for A Stranger to Kindness.  It feels kind of futile at this point - I feel like publishing isn't looking for that story right now, but I guess I'm just a masochist

Pre-sales start this morning for the 2026 season, so I suspect I'm going to be stupidly busy at work this week.  Especially since I'm only just figuring out my way through the system.  But I figure it's the best way to learn.

So, I guess my goal for this week is to get through it with my sanity intact.  What are your goals?

Celebrate the Small Things 5-9-25

 

It's the end of the week, so it's time to Celebrate the Small Things.

What am I celebrating this week?

It's the weekend!

It's a been a busy week that ended with some big events as part of my new job: my first concert and the program launch for our 2026 season.  Both seemed to go very smoothly and I'm hoping the bookings start flying in when the first presale opens on Monday.  Just not so quickly we can't cope with it.

Standing Too Close has been getting some great reviews which makes me happy.  Don't know if that will translate into sales, but it's nice to know people are enjoying and being emotionally affected by my book.

I've been so busy trying to learn everything I need to know at work, I've had very little time for anything else, especially writing.  I hope to change that this weekend.  I don't have much on, so I'm planning to write.  I'm so close to finishing the new book I can almost smell it.

And that's about it for me.  What are you celebrating this week?

IWSG - September

 

It's the first Wednesday of the month, so it's time for the Insecure Writers Support Group!

The awesome co-hosts for the September 3 posting of the IWSG are Kim Lajevardi, Natalie Aguirre, Nancy Gideon, and Diedre Knight!

This month's question is topical to say the least:

What are your thoughts on using AI, such as GPChat, Raptor, and others with your writing? Would you use it for research, story bible, or creating outlines\beats?

To be honest, I'm not a fan of any of these AI "tools" in terms of my creative work. I have used them professionally to do things like creating a generic Health and Safety plan or NDA agreement or to shorten text to fit into a funding application's required word limit, but not for anything creative.

I feel like AI is the opposite of creative. You punch in prompts, and it spits stuff out that's a mash up of words and ideas it scrapes from all the media it's been fed in training. Media that most of us haven't given permission for the companies to use as AI training. Which I object to.

The few times I have experimented with Chat GPT, I didn't think what it did was actually much good either. Even those very templated, generic things I asked it to do weren't amazing and required a fair amount of massaging and re-writing before they were of any use to me. And if something that generic needed that amount of work, why would I outsource any of my creative work to it?

Apart from anything else. I write because I love to write. I love discovering the story and uncovering characters' various layers as they move through it. I don't want a computer to write for me. I don't need a computer to give me ideas - I have more ideas for books than I have years left to live!

In the future, I may consider using AI for marketing purposes, but I'm not even sure about that. I'm not great at book marketing - and if you saw my royalty statements, you'd agree with me - but at least anything I do is genuinely from me and my own voice.

Maybe I'm just old-school, but I'm not going to be jumping on that AI bandwagon anytime soon.

But I'm interested to hear what everyone else thinks. Do you use AI in your writing work? And if so, how?

Weekly Goals 1-9-25

 I didn't manage to finish the book over the weekend.  I got close, but life decided to get in the way and I didn't end up having much writing time, so I didn't make it to THE END.

So, my goal for this week is to actually get there.

It's my second week in my new job, so I have a lot to do to get myself up to speed there.  We have a concert on Friday, so there's a whole raft of stuff that happens around that I need to learn to start with.  But I figure once I've been through the process, it will be much easier to replicate again next time.

And, to be honest, that's really it for goals for me this week.  Short and sweet!

What do you hope to achieve?

Celebrate the Small Things 29-8-25

 

It's the end of the week, so it's time to Celebrate the Small Things.

What am I celebrating this week?

I made it through my first week in my new job.  It's going to be a huge learning curve in some ways (I have a massive new system to learn and need to be onto it ASAP) and it's a way bigger organisation than the one I just came from.  Even learning everyone's names is going to take a while, I think!

I'm kind of exhausted, to be honest. So, looking forward to a quiet weekend.

I had a brainwave this morning as to how to solve the book problem I was having, so I'm going to try that out and see if it works.  If it does, I should hit "The End" by Sunday.  It's in no way finished - I have a whole dangling plot thread I either need to excise from the book (which I'm not sure I want to do) or wrap up somehow.  I have an idea how to do it, but it will require having an epilogue.  Which I don't suppose is such a bad thing.  After spending a whole book with the characters, maybe you want to know what happens to them later?

I saw my last Film Festival film on Wednesday - a beautiful doco about Jeff Buckley.  Made me cry.  What a voice he had!  And what a gorgeous soul.

What are you celebrating this week?

Books I've Read: The School for Good Mothers

One of my colleagues at work gave me this one because she thought I might like it.  And you know what?  I kind of did.  I found it quite disturbing in many ways, but it has certainly stuck with me, so I guess that's a good thing.

The main character is Frida, a recently divorced woman whose life really isn't going the way she, or her Chinese immigrant parents hoped.  She has a boring job that she does purely for the flexibility it offers during the weeks she has custody of her daughter.  Her husband has hooked up with a gorgeous, wellness-spouting woman who her daughter is growing closer to every day.  The only thing that gives her any joy is spending time with little Harriet, her daughter and the focus of her life.

Yet, as any overworked, underslept single mother knows, even those angelic children we adore can become overwhelming at times.

In a single moment of bad judgement, Frida leaves he daughter home alone while she pops by the office to pick up something she needs.  The baby's asleep and she'll only be a few minutes after all.  But she ends up going to pick a coffee on the way home, and the unexpected freedom leads her to stay away far longer than she intended.

In this near-future, parents like Frida are under scrutiny and when a neighbor hears the baby crying, she reports it to the authorities.  Suddenly Frida's entire life is under the microscope, her every move watched and analysed by officials who can and will decide if she is fit to be a mother to her child.  

To prove she can be a good enough mother, Frida commits to spending a year at an institution where she will have to pass a series of tests in order to regain the right to be a mother to her child.

As a mother myself, I found this book quite terrifying.  The idea of being separated from my kid at such a young age and to be forced to watch her bond with my ex and his new woman in the occasional phone call allowed by the institution filled me with dread. The school's tool for helping women become better is a weird robot doll and those creeped me out too.

Overall, it was a very effective book, even if the ending did leave me feeling rather disappointed.

I won't say anything more...  But I do recommend this one.

But don't just listen to me; here's the blurb:

In this taut and explosive debut novel, one lapse in judgement lands a young mother in a government reform program where custody of her child hangs in the balance.

Frida Liu is struggling. She doesn’t have a career worthy of her Chinese immigrant parents’ sacrifices. What’s worse is she can’t persuade her husband, Gust, to give up his wellness-obsessed younger mistress. Only with their angelic daughter Harriet does Frida finally feel she’s attained the perfection expected of her. Harriet may be all she has, but she’s just enough.

Until Frida has a horrible day.

The state has its eyes on mothers like Frida — ones who check their phones while their kids are on the playground; who let their children walk home alone; in other words, mothers who only have one lapse of judgement. Now, a host of government officials will determine if Frida is a candidate for a Big Brother-like institution that measures the success or failure of a mother’s devotion. Faced with the possibility of losing Harriet, Frida must prove that she can live up to the standards set for mothers — that she can learn to be good.

This propulsive, witty page-turner explores the perils of “perfect” upper-middle-class parenting, the violence enacted upon women by the state and each other, and the boundless love a mother has for her daughter.

Weekly Goals 25-8-25

 I start my new job today so most of my goals this week are around learning all the things I'll need to learn to get myself up and running in my new role.  Meeting my team, getting to know the systems and all that kind of thing.  It's going to be a pretty steep learning curve, I think.

I didn't;t manage to finish my book over the weekend.  I've written a lot, but I don't think it's the right stuff.  I know where I need to end up, but I can't seem to get there and I've written a lot of probably really boring bits to try and move on to where I need to be.  I think I should have trusted my instincts when I changed POV at a certain point, but I doubted myself and went back to the main one.

So I'll have to re-look at it all later, probably over the weekend when I have some time.  See if I can figure it all out and how to get to the actual ending.

The film festival finished and my last film was a goodie!  It was called Urchin and was about a young guy living on the streets (guess why I wanted to see this one?) and all the different ways he fucked things up for himself.  He was a delightful, charismatic guy and watching him screw everything up over and over again was kind of tragic.  It was a beautiful performance in a story that was more a character study than a narrative.  Very enjoyable.

I have one more to see int he encore series, a film about Jeff Buckley that I'm very much looking forward to.

What are your goals this week?

Celebrate the Small Things 22-8-25

It's the end of the week, so it's time to Celebrate the Small Things.

What am I celebrating this week?

Lots of things, actually.  I finished my job on Wednesday which was sad and weird.  I am so close to finishing the new book I can smell it.  Not sure the last half is any good, but it's something to work on.  And I only have one more film left to see in the film festival.  Well, two actually.  I got a ticket for an extra screening of one on Wednesday, but one left of the regular screenings.

What have I seen?

The Ballad of Wallis Island about a man who wins the lottery and pays his favorite band to come to the remote island where he lives to play a concert just for him.  This was a real feel-good film.  Funny and poignant and just a little twee, I enjoyed it very much.

One of the highlights this year for me is the film I was given a ticket to at the last minute, Peacock.  It's Austrian and quite absurd, about a man who works for a company that provides people to be companions for any situation.  Need a father for your kid's take Dad to work day?  Hire Mattias.  A partner for a pretentious outdoor concert?  Mattias.  A son for your 60th wedding anniversary celebrations?  Again, Mattias.  But when his wife tells him she doesn't know who he is anymore, things start spiraling out of control for Mattias.

Ellis Park is a documentary about Dirty Three /Bad Seeds musician Warren Ellis.  Since 2020 he's been supporting a nature reserve in Sumatra and in this film he goes there for the first time and meets the woman running the place, the local staff and all the rescued animals.  I enjoyed it very much.

The Mastermind is a film by master of slow cinema, Kelly Reichart.  It's a heist film, but a heist by an unlikely suspect and for reasons you don't fully understand until close to the end.  I didn't love it to be honest.  I found the main character weak and irritating - which was probably the point- but the ending was a nice twist.

Back in 1993 when I worked on the film festival, I saw a wonderful documentary about Leni Riefenstahl that led me to write at least one essay on her work and troubled reputation.  This week I saw a new doco about her which I thought would be more interesting than it actually was.  The 1993 docs benefitted from the fact she was still alive and could talk to the filmmakers.  This doco had only that footage and her many interviews, extensive archives and recordings to draw from.  She's definitely a complex character, but I'm not sure if she believed her own mythology about herself, or if she really was kept in the dark about much of what the Nazis were doing.  I suspect the truth is probably somewhere in between the two.

Twinless was another delightful film with a perfect balance between humor and pathos.  It's about a young man whose twin brother Rocky has recently been killed in an accident and who's struggling with the loss.  In a support group, he meets Dennis who claims to have also lost a twin brother.  A friendship develops between them,  but Dennis' presence at the group was predicated on false pretenses - he 's actually one of Rocky's one night stands and the reason Rocky was killed in the first place.

One more tonight, and then I'll be home in the evenings again, mostly.

What are you celebrating this week?

Books I've read: The Vegetarian

 

One of my colleagues gave me this to read, saying she thought it was interesting.  

I guess that's one word for it.

Books in translation are always interesting because you're not reading the book the way the author intended it to be read.  You're reading another writer's interpretation of that book.  And then you add in the specific cultural things that a native reader of that language would understand without any explanation and trying to put those things in context too.

This book is Korean and was the winner of the International Booker Prize about ten years ago.  So it's not new.  I tend to be slow to get to award winning books because when they're fresh off their award glory, they're in hot demand at the library so I tend to wait until things calm down.

It's a fairly slim book and I read the whole thing over the weekend.  It starts off being about a couple whose marriage has become stale.  They didn't have an enormous amount of passion for each other even at the start, but things have grown even more mundane now.  When a vivid dream terrifies wife Yeong-hye, she gives up eating meat.  A small act, you'd think, and a decision people make every day.  Yet here, this tiny act of rebellion against the staid life she's living, sets in motion a series of events that will end her marriage and tear the entire family apart.

Yeong-hye's sister is also in a fairly loveless marriage.  Her husband is an "artist" and spends long ours away from home, leaving her to care for their son and to support the family with her beauty-products store. When she catches her husband making "art" with her sister, the marriage collapses and Yeong-hye's mental state is deemed too fragile for anything other than a psychiatric hospital.

Yet even in the institution, Yeong-hye fights to keep this one, tiny piece of control over her own life and existence. 

Given the dramatic scenes and confrontations in this book, it was strangely emotionless.  I never felt I had any real handle on any of the characters except the artist husband.  And I think that was just because he was so single minded in his obsession with the "Mongolian mark" Yeong-hye had on her ass.  

Yeong-hye's motivations were far less transparent.  Clearly her refusal to eat meat anymore was a desperate act to try and gain control over her existence.  Korean society is clearly very regimented, and this was her way of breaking free in even a small way.  But the lengths she went to were so extreme, it seems possible that once she started controlling her world through food, she spiralled deep into anorexia nervosa.  The phrase was mentioned once or twice while in the institution, but it never seemed to be something the doctors take seriously.

I'm not sure I can say I enjoyed this book.  It was interesting, for sure, but I was never really invested enough in any of the characters to truly enjoy it.

But don't just listen to me.  Here's the blurb:

Before the nightmares began, Yeong-hye and her husband lived an ordinary, controlled life. But the dreams—invasive images of blood and brutality—torture her, driving Yeong-hye to purge her mind and renounce eating meat altogether. It’s a small act of independence, but it interrupts her marriage and sets into motion an increasingly grotesque chain of events at home. As her husband, her brother-in-law and sister each fight to reassert their control, Yeong-hye obsessively defends the choice that’s become sacred to her. Soon their attempts turn desperate, subjecting first her mind, and then her body, to ever more intrusive and perverse violations, sending Yeong-hye spiraling into a dangerous, bizarre estrangement, not only from those closest to her, but also from herself.

Celebrated by critics around the world, The Vegetarian is a darkly allegorical, Kafka-esque tale of power, obsession, and one woman’s struggle to break free from the violence both without and within her.

Weekly goals 18-8-25

 I only got a little bit of writing done over the weekend, but I expected that since I had a bunch of films to go to.  I have a couple of days off this week, after I finish my job on Wednesday, so I'm planning for one of those days to be a writing day.

So, what films did I see?

Pavements, a documentary about the band Pavement.  I was a big fan of this band in the '90s and I even still have a drumstick the drummer gave me at a party after a gig here in Wellington.  The doco was really innovative, setting up the premise that Pavement were this huge act back in the day and their 2022 reunion tour is the biggest thing ever.  And that alongside that, a jukebox musical using their songs is being performed, a Bohemian Rhapsody style bio-pic is being made and a museum exhibition of band-related ephemera is being launched.  Other than the tour, none of these things are strictly real - the filmmaker put up the exhibition himself and produced the musical, presumably for the documentary.

Plainclothes is a film I enjoyed very much.  About a young cop working on the vice squad trying to catch guys in public bathrooms exposing themselves.  He is becoming more and more certain he's gay, but can't reconcile those feelings with his work or bring himself to tell his family.  The film splits its time between a family New Year party and the clandestine relationship this young cop has with an older man.

Crocodile Tears is an Indonesian film that is not a horror, although it definitely shares some tropes with the Indonesian horror movies I've seen.  Set in a run-down crocodile park, this film has one of the most twisted mother-son relationships I've come across.  And the highest number of crocodiles I've come across in a single film!

And that was my weekend film viewing.  Six more to go...

My main goal this week is to get everything done at work I need to do before I finish on Wednesday.  And then to get all my life admin out of the way before starting my new job next week.  It all seems to have happened very quickly.

What are your goals this week?

Celebrate the Small Things 15-8-25

 

It's the end of the week, so it's time to Celebrate the Small Things.

What am I celebrating this week?

It's the weekend!

And I only have another three days in my current job.  That feels very, very weird, I tell you!  It's been so busy, I don't think it's really sunk in.  I have a couple of days off at the end of next week to try and re-set my head to get ready for the new role, but I've already managed to book a lot of stuff for those days.

Reviews for Standing too Close are beginning to trickle in.  They're good.  Not raves, but everyone seems to have enjoyed the story and its heartbreaking nature.  I think heartbreaking is my brand...  I never let my kids get away without breaking a few hearts along the way.

The film festival started and I've seen two films so far. 

 It Was Just an Accident which won the Palme d'or at Cannes this year was a surprisingly funny film.  Very twisty too.  It really kept you guessing all the way through at the same time as showing some of the absurdities of living in modern Iran.  The characters were all very real too, acting inexactly the contrary way people do in times of stress.  I enjoyed it very much.

Mirrors No.3 is a German film about a young girl who is kind of adopted into a stranger's family after her boyfriend is killed in a car crash she miraculously escapes unharmed.  The family is trying to recover from a tragedy of its own, and the role Laura takes in their lives becomes increasingly disturbing as more details of what they've been going through come to light. I didn't love this one, but it definitely had some interesting moments in it.

I have another nine films to see over the next eight days, so I'll keep you posted.

What are you celebrating this week?

Books I've Loved: I Will Call It Georgie's Blues

I Will Call It Georgie's Blues is a story about a family in crisis.  Mr. Sloane is a Baptist minister in a small town and has very fixed ideas about the image he and his family need to maintain.  But while outwardly the Sloane family might look picture perfect, behind closed doors each member of the family has their own problems, all stemming from Mr. Sloane's subtle tyranny.

Oldest daughter Aileen rebels by failing school and running around with the most inappropriate boyfriend she can find, flaunting her father's rules openly.  Neal escapes his problems through music, keeping his passion and talent for jazz a secret from everyone.  And youngest child, Georgie, creates a vivid fantasy world to explain why he feels so alone, even while surrounded by the people who are supposed to care most for him.

Told from Neal's point of view, the book covers a period of weeks in which Georgie's fantasy world overwhelms him and the family's secrets explode in a way that forces them all to reassess the way they behave to each other, and what they present to the world.

I really like this book because while it deals with an abusive father, he's not violent and the wounds he inflicts on his family are psychological, not physical.  The characters and their reactions to him feel very real and the portrayal of small-town life where everyone is under scrutiny all the time also rings true.

Definitely recommended.

But don't just take my word for it.  Here's the blurb:

Reverend Mr. Sloan is a time bomb waiting to go off. Behind his kindly public persona is an intolerant, demanding parent who terrorizes his children. Neal escapes his father in the world of music, but his frail brother Georgie is headed for a breakdown that almost no one will realize.

Weekly goals 11-8-25

 I didn't get as much writing done over the weekend as I had hoped to.  I did a little on Saturday, but I've basically been sick all weekend means I've done very little of the stuff I intended to do.  On the plus side, I did read a couple of books.  It's been a long time since I've sat down and read a whole book in a day.

Standing too Close released and it looks like it's doing pretty well.  Weirdly, Amazon has it listed under a whole bunch of really weird tags - Fantasy, Sci Fi, Royalty?  I've asked my publisher to look into it because those are clearly not right.  But I guess I can be happy that it's sitting at #35 in any category?

The film festival starts on Thursday, so I won't be getting much writing done for the next couple of weeks.  Guess it's good - gives my CPs time to catch up.  

Going to be stupid busy at work the next week or so too because I only have another week and a half before I finish up there.  And we go on sale with Jazz Festival in that time.  I also have a LOT of funding applications to get in, and I need to train up the woman who is replacing me.   Plus, this week is new release week at the gym and I'm teaching five classes.

So, a very busy, busy time!

My goal is to just get through it all.  What do you want to achieve this week?

Standing too Close releases today

 

Standing Too Close: Available Now!

Yes, Standing too Close is now available at all ebook retailers!  So get yourself a copy today!  Print will be available in about a month.  I'll keep the blog updated with details as I have them...

AVAILABLE NOW

~Editor's Pick~

Seventeen-year-old Blue Lannigan believes in exactly one thing: his two younger brothers deserve more than the crappy apartment and abusive, drunken mother they’re stuck with. And when he comes home to find one brother bruised and bleeding (again), the other cowering in terror (again) and their mother drunk off her ass, blaming all three of them for her tanked singing career (again), Blue decides waiting until he’s 18 to leave is no longer an option.

Deciding to hole up in an empty house at the lake until Blue can figure out what to do next, things get more complicated when the owner of the house arrives unexpectedly. Especially when Blue realizes the unconscious woman they’ve tied up on the couch isn’t a stranger after all, but someone who could give him just what he’s looking for.

After avoiding reality and playing house, a scene at the grocery store lands him in handcuffs and his brothers with a social worker. Add to that losing his job and being stuck in a group home he hates, and Blue’s sole purpose becomes finding his brothers and getting them out of whatever hellhole they’re in. Blue’s hopes unravel, and betrayal rips his heart in two as he tries to reconcile the role he plays in his brothers’ lives while trying to figure out his own.

REVIEWS:

"I truly have no idea where to start with this review. My heart is just well and truly broken after reading this book....Standing Too Close is a book I couldn’t put down. I was spiralling page after page after page. It was a hard hitter, that’s for sure - Occult Library Co

"I wholeheartedly recommend this book to readers aged 17 and above who are in search of a contemporary novel that not only entertains but also sheds light on the myriad struggles faced by children and families navigating the turbulent waters of addiction and familial strife. "Standing Too Close" is not just a story; it is a mirror reflecting the resilience of the human spirit in the face of adversity." - Mikayla's Bookish Creatives

"Standing Too Close is a heartfelt book that highlights the importance of community and letting others help you when things get overwhelming for you to handle on your own. This book highlights Blue’s strength on his own as he navigates caring for his brothers, while also showcasing how much Blue was able to accomplish when others stepped in to help him." - Unconventional Quirky Bibliophile

EXCERPT: 

Mom’s dancing when I get back to the living room. She clutches the bottle of bourbon in one fist as she sways to the music. When the verse begins, she raises the bottle to her mouth like a microphone and starts singing into it.

I stand in the doorway for a second, watching.

From the speakers, my mother’s voice blazes out, the strong pure alto I remember from sitting proudly at the side of stage after stage. The voice that won her awards and accolades, got her offers of movie roles and sold-out stadiums.

What comes from my mother’s mouth now is ragged and raw. She can still hit the notes, but there’s no purity now. Her voice is a hoarse, ruined parody of what’s playing through the speakers. Like the way she still dresses the same way she did; dresses which flowed around her narrow frame now cling snugly to her drink-bloated stomach, strain across her hips.

She spins around and takes a swig from her “microphone”, staggering backward as she does. Her heel catches the edge of the rug and she falls, crashing onto the coffee table on her ass. It cracks under her and dumps her to the ground amid a cascade of old magazines.

I wince.

“Ooopsy daisy!” Mom catches sight of me in the doorway and drags herself up, leaning heavily on the ruined furniture. “Mommy’s clumsy today.”

“Mommy’s drunk,” I say. “As usual.”

“I’m not drunk, baby boy.” Mom sways on her feet and looks blearily around for her bottle. She finds it under the magazines, empty now, the remaining bourbon soaking into the filthy carpet.

“No?" I watch her shaking the bottle over her mouth, trying to get any last liquor out. “Looks that way to me.”

“You worry too much. I’m fine, Bluebell. I’m celebratin’”

Celebrating? What the hell does she have to celebrate? Kicking the shit out of Sage? Terrifying Wiley so much he barely speaks? “Don’t call me Bluebell.”

“Oh, I forgot. My baby boy is too big for pet names.”

I roll my eyes but ignore it. There are more important things to deal with. “It’s bedtime,” I say, tugging the bottle away from her and setting it on the broken table. “You’ve had enough.”

“Darlin’,” she snarls, leaping away from me. “I haven’t even started yet.”

She reaches into the stereo cabinet and pulls out another bottle, this one smaller and slimmer. She unscrews the cap and takes a healthy belt. “Damn. That’s the stuff. Here.” She holds the bottle out to me. “Have a drink, baby. You know I don’t like to drink alone.”

I take the bottle, but don’t take a sip. For someone who doesn’t like drinking by herself, she spends a lot of time doing it. Like, every day. All day. Since giving up singing, drinking has been her career.

Who am I kidding? She never gave up singing. People just didn’t want to listen to her anymore.