Thursday, March 10, 2011

A Very Special Birthday Contest.

A lovely Brazilian writer, Gabriela Lessa, is having a birthday today. Happy Birthday Gabriela!
To celebrate, she's hosting a contest. And I'm entering. So, here are the first 312 words of my WIP. Apologies to those who read the 550 words I posted in the blogfest earlier this week... I do try not to repeat myself.... And apologies for the weird ending. 312 words ended in a strange place.

TITLE: Chasing the Tail Lights
GENRE: YA Contemporary
STATUS: WIP

The darkness is absolute. For a moment I’m not sure if my eyes are open or closed. I strain to push the lids up, but they’re already wide. Not a pinpoint of light penetrates the space I’m in. Something covers my mouth and nose, making breathing difficult. My lungs burn for air, but I can only suck in tiny mouthfuls through whatever smothers my face.

I turn my head, crying out as a savage bolt of pain shoots through it. For a moment I waver on the edge of consciousness, wavy grey lines wafting across the blank space before my eyes. I struggle to keep my wits about me - what’s left of them - fighting the the darkness threatening to drown me. I gasp for breath, certain now I won’t pass out. Reaching out my left hand, I try to find something to hold onto. My fingers scrabble over some small objects, pebbles perhaps, that skitter away beneath my touch. I reach further, wrapping my fingers around them. Pain prickles through my fingertips. Not pebbles. Glass. Small, sharp shards of glass.

Using my scored digits, I drag myself forward, an inch, maybe two. A huge weight pins my legs to the ground. I can’t move them, can’t even feel them. Raising my head, I see light. Not a lot of light, but light. Red light, bright at one end, dull at the other. I know what this is. I do. My heart thumps at the side of my head and I can almost hear the gears of my brain creaking to make sense of this weird red glow.

A taillight.

I let my throbbing head drop as a reward, a surge of relief passing through me at this small achievement. It’s a taillight. But why is it up there? What is up there? And if that’s there, where am I? The



9 comments:

  1. Wow. Nice. I found myself gasping for air. Well done :)

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  2. Gah, I really want the rest of this chapter to find out what's going on!

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  3. So loving this! I was drawn in from the beginning and so wanting more.
    If I could say one tiny thing...in the very beginning when you say "the lids", to me I think "my lids" might sound a little better. Seriously, other than that...soo good!!!

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  4. Terrific. Very tramatic, dramatic, and love the way it cuts off just when I was getting drawn in. AHA! 312 words. We need more. Nice job.

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  5. Congratulations! You are one of the 12 finalists! Your entry has been forwarded to guest judge Lora Rivera. The 3 winners will be announced on March 30th. Thanks for entering the contest and giving me the chance to read some great writing! Good luck!

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  6. Oh wow! That is exciting. Thanks Gabriela! And thanks everyone else for reading...

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  7. Very nice job! I felt the disorientation and trauma right off and wanted to keep reading.

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  8. This does suck you right in from the get-go. I was thinking traffic accident before the taillights are notices, which I thought was great. It is mysterious without being completely ambiguous. Loved it.

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  9. This is pretty fantastic. My moderate hope after being told I was one of the finalists keeps being happily trampled as I read the other entries. I say happily because I honestly enjoy reading good writing, even if it can eclipse my own. :)

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