It has come to my attention that people these days don't know what to do when they are asked to RSVP. Either that, or people are just plain rude.
I get this a lot with events at work. We have a limited number of free seats to give away to important guests, so we ask the people we invite to RSVP. Half the people don't bother responding, so we assume they're a no and give those extra seats to people who perhaps should have been on the original list, but didn't make it because of space issues. Then on the night, all these people show up, often with partners even though there was no mention of a plus one on the invite, and people who did RSVP saying they would be there, don't.
It's annoying.
Today my son had his birthday party. We invited 6 kids and asked their parents to RSVP so we'd know how many to expect. I got two RSVPs. No one else even bothered to call or text and say no, we can't make it. If I'd known so few kids were going to come, I would have let my son invite more kids. He hasn't said anything, but how sad must he be that only 2 kids came to his party? And no one even bothered to say that they couldn't make it?
Rude.
Is this something you've come across? Is it acceptable not to respond these days, even when specifically asked?
I don't know if it's acceptable, but I usually rsvp if I think I might come so at least I'm not unexpected. But I don't call to cancel the rsvp unless it's someone I think will miss me.
ReplyDeleteI was awful with Thank-you notes as a kid. My mom always had to force me to write them. Perhaps RSVP are the same thing, and people just don't want to bother writing. Perhaps people don't honestly know if they want to come or not. I think only weddings are really RSVP'd to anymore because everyone knows about catering problems. Perhaps if you put an addendum to your film invites that space is limited and designated seats will be given away if no RSVP is rec'd. Threats usually work.
ReplyDeleteI think thank you cards are a little different. With RSVPs, it's really about numbers. I mean, you make a different amount of food if you're expecting 10 than you do if you're expecting 4...
DeleteOh -- and wish your son a very Happy Birthday from me!! :-D
ReplyDeleteOrson says thanks to the lady with purple eye....
DeleteSorry to hear this happened to your son. I think people don't like to call in RSVPs. I've found e-invites and email RSVP's work best for whatever reason.
ReplyDeleteHi Kate,
ReplyDeleteI landed on your blog via yalitchat. I've been a member for a couple of years but have not been very active until now.
I've had similar situations with a job I started in January where I do a lot of event planning. People are terrible at responding. They will RSVP the day before an event, when I've had to have final numbers in days before, or they won't RSVP at all and just show up. Or they RSVP and then don't show up. Frustrating.
Worse - the birthday party situation. This year money's a little tight, so I told my son he could invite a certain number of kids. We DID get RSVPs from most and many of them were no's, unfortunately, which upset my son. There were also a couple that did not RSVP so I had to contact THEM. At the last minute I invited some good friends with three kids to fill up the party.
So - what's changed? Are we too busy, too overwhelmed to keep our lives organized? Most days I feel that way, but it's no excuse.
Is it acceptable to not RSVP? Of course not, but who is teaching people that it's not? It's our job as parents to teach our children, because are they learning social courtesy at school? In most cases, no. But you can't teach your children courtesy if you've never learned it or practiced it yourself.
Great topic! I look forward to reading more of your blog. And Happy Birthday to your son!
I kind of feel like people don't like to commit to things in case something better comes along. But it is frustrating!
DeleteUnfortunately, people need to be chased after with reminders to do what they're supposed to do. I'm sorry about your son's low turn-out for his party - hope he had a good time anyway!
ReplyDeleteSome Dark Romantic